n3rd.org

Feb 27

A Serious Man
Genre:	Comedy/Drama (2009)
Director:	Ethan Coen, Joel Coen
Starring:	Michael Stuhlbarg, Richard Kind, Fred Melamed
Rating:
Comment:	Hey, it’s the Cohen brothers. How can this possible be anything short of completely great? And it sure was good. Albeit there were just a little too many open-ended story lines for my taste.

	Assault On Precinct 13
Genre:	Drama/Crime/Action (1976)
Director:	John Carpenter
Starring:	Austin Stoker, Darwin Joston
Rating:
Comment:	This is said to be a classic, and I can kinda see how. It is a pretty cool crime movie that has this strange zombie feeling to it. The badass murderer dude looks kinda corny by today’s standards and there are a few unexplained plot issues. But other than that, good stuff.

Dante's Inferno
Genre:	Animated (2010)
Director:	Boris Acosta
Starring:	Jeff Conaway, Dino Di Durante, Silvia Colloca (all voices)
Rating:
Comment:	First off, I’ve got to admit that I’ve never read the Divine Comedy so I can’t comment on whether this is a good adaptation or not. But what I can say is this: it’s gory as shit and I love it. Plus, since it’s based on first class world literature you don’t even have to feel bad about it ;-)

	Fist Of Legend
Genre:	Drama/Action (1994)
Director:	Gordon Chan
Starring:	Jet Li, Billy Chow
Rating:
Comment:	To be honest, I don’t remember all that much about this movie except that it is a remake of a Bruce Lee flick (which I haven’t seen either). But the choreographer is Yuen Woo-ping so you know it’s gonna be good.

North By Northwest
Genre:	Comedy/Drama/Crime/Thriller (1959)
Director:	Alfred Hitchcock
Starring:	Cary Grant, Eva Marie Saint, James Mason
Rating:
Comment:	My (former) roomie recommended this one to me, and he was spot on. What I love about old movies is that they are usually cut rather slowly so you can actually enjoy the show. Unlike most contemporary action flicks where there’s a cut like every two seconds. Cary Grant is insanely charismatic and this may very well one of the best films ever made.

	The Great Buck Howard
Genre:	Comedy (2008)
Director:	Sean McGinly
Starring:	John Malkovich, Colin Hanks, Emily Blunt
Rating:
Comment:	To me, John Malkovich is one of the most unique actors of our time with an incredible stage presence – I’m having a hard time not to like this movie just because of him alone. Fortunately, the movie is worth seeing in and by itself, although I wouldn’t wanna bet that it would work with some actor other than Malkovich. Go see it.

The Invention Of Lying
Genre:	Comedy/Romance/Fantasy (2009)
Director:	Ricky Gervais, Matthew Robinson
Starring:	Ricky Gervais, Jennifer Garner, Rob Lowe
Rating:
Comment:	What if nobody could lie? Wouldn’t that make the world a better place? Probably not, unless you’re Ricky Gervais. I love the idea behind this movie, I love Ricky Gervais and his kind of humor. The movie loses a little steam towards the end but nonetheless very funny.

	The Kingdom
Genre:	Drama/Thriller/Action (2007)
Director:	Peter Berg
Starring:	Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner, Jason Bateman
Rating:
Comment:	This is raw. Watching The Kingdom raises a feeling of angst in you that you just can’t shake. The cold and ugly truth that this is not at all that fictional just lurks perpetually in the back of your mind. The showdown is the most insistent gunfight scene since Heat. A movie that is a true thrill ride that leaves you thinking.

The Protector
Genre:	Drama/Crime/Thriller/Action (2005)
Director:	Prachya Pinkaew
Starring:	Tony Jaa, Xing Jing, Johnny Nguyen
Rating:
Comment:	Here’s a simplistic story if I ever saw one: boy loves elephant, bad guy steals elephant, boy looks for elephant and beats the shit out of everyone in his way. Pair that with really cool fighting scenes, well-dosed comic relief and solid acting and you got yourself the perfect popcorn movie with a plot you can easily follow even after a couple of beers.

	Vexille
Genre:	Animated/Action/Sci-Fi (2007)
Director:	Fumihiko Sori
Starring:	Colleen Clinkenbeard, Travis Willingham, Christine M. Auten (all voices)
Rating:
Comment:	While there wasn’t really anything utterly innovative about this movie (Ghost In The Shell and Final Fantasy come to mind), it was still very enjoyable. And it did have some of the most stunning visuals I’ve seen in an animated movie in a while.

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
Genre:	Comedy/Animated (2009)
Director:	Phil Lord, Chris Miller
Starring:	Bill Hader, Anna Faris, James Caan (Voices)
Rating:
Comment:	To be completely honest: I saw the movie posters and it didn’t make me wanna watch it. But I did anyway and boy am I glad. This is by far the best animated movie since The Incredibles. Hilariously funny and refreshingly innovative – two thumbs up!

	Death Race
Genre:	Thriller/Action/Sci-Fi (2008)
Director:	Paul W.S. Anderson
Starring:	Jason Statham, Joan Allen, Ian McShane
Rating:
Comment:	Holy damn, what a fun ride! The “story” was (of course) mildly retarded, but who gives a crap. Fast cars, rocket launchers hot babes (well, one) and a bunch of bad-ass motherfuckers. Shit yeah, bitches!

Elektra
Genre:	Action/Fantasy (2005)
Director:	Rob Bowman
Starring:	Jennifer Garner, Goran Visnjic, Kirsten Prout
Rating:
Comment:	This would’ve been much easier to rate if Jennifer Garner wasn’t so damn hot. Of course the movie itself wasn’t particularly great, but it was still bearable to watch.

	Extract
Genre:	Comedy/Crime (2009)
Director:	Mike Judge
Starring:	Jason Bateman, Mila Kunis, Kristen Wiig
Rating:
Comment:	Kinda like Fargo meets Office Space, only not as good as either of those. A decent comedy if you’ve nothing better to watch.

Gamer
Genre:	Thriller/Action/Sci-Fi (2009)
Director:	Mark Neveldine, Brian Taylor
Starring:	Gerard Butler, Amber Valletta, Michael C. Hall
Rating:
Comment:	Blood. Violance. Weird story that was kinda cool but didn’t really make any sense… excellent ingredients for a stupid yet entertaining movie. Of course you don’t wanna watch this completely sober.

	Something, Something, Something Dark Side
Genre:	Comedy/Animated (2009)
Director:	Dominic Polcino
Starring:	Seth MacFarlane, Alex Borstein, Seth Green, Mila Kunis (Voices)
Rating:
Comment:	The disappointment of the year for me. I love Family Guy, but this movie was just sub par. It sure had it’s moments, but all in all it was (comparatively) bad.

The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3
Genre:	Crime/Thriller/Action (2009)
Director:	Tony Scott
Starring:	Denzel Washington. John Travolta, John Turturro
Rating:
Comment:	This possibly deserved four stars… but I put off watching this for like two months so I could see it with my girl – and then it just didn’t deliver. Let alone the fact that the story was lackluster and didn’t really make any sense at all.

	Up
Genre:	Comedy/Drama/Animated (2009)
Director:	Pete Docter, Bob Peterson
Starring:	Edward Asner, Christopher Plummer, Jordan Nagai (Voices)
Rating:
Comment:	Great. As a whole the movie is a little weird cause it starts out one way, then takes a completely unexpected turn and then just gets weird… but still, very well made and tons of fun to watch.

World's Greatest Dad
Genre:	Comedy/Drama (2009)
Director:	Bobcat Goldthwait
Starring:	Robin Williams, Daryl Sabara, Alexie Gilmore
Rating:
Comment:	Excellent movie about a teacher, his girlfriend, his fucked up kid and a school full of phoneys. Kinda reminds you why Robin Williams is one of the finest actors of the last two decades. Plus this movie has the best usage of a Queen song in a movie (and that includes Highlander).

	Yip Man
Genre:	Drama/Action/History (2008)
Director:	Wilson Yip
Starring:	Donnie Yen, Simon Yam, Siu-Wong Fan
Rating:
Comment:	Best martial arts movie I’ve seen in a long time. And the fact that it is (based on) a true story is just icing on the cake. Let’s hope Yip Man 2 is gonna be just as awesome.

Friday
Genre:	Comedy/Drama (1995)
Director:	F. Gary Gray
Starring:	Ice Cube, Chris Tucker, Nia Long
Rating:
Comment:	This I watched primarily out of curiosity… I didn’t expect it to be any good and it sure wasn’t (and I bet my pinky neither are Next Friday and whatever else they made). But then again, I find both Ice Cube and Chris Tucker exceedingly annoying.

	Terminator Salvation
Genre:	Thriller/Action/Sci-Fi (2009)
Director:	McG
Starring:	Christian Bale, Sam Worthington, Anton Yelchin
Rating:
Comment:	Cool movie, I enjoyed it immensely. Christian Bale is today what Bruce Willis was in the 90s ;-) Anyhoo, compared to the other Terminator installments, I just can’t give it 5 stars – it wouldn’t be fair :-)

The Hangover
Genre:	Comedy/Crime (2009)
Director:	Todd Phillips
Starring:	Bradley Cooper , Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Justin Bartha
Rating:
Comment:	Awesome. While not the most inspired picture it sure is a crapload of fun. Although I still think Neil Patrick Harris should’ve been in the movie :) Plus I love Zach Galifianakis. His stand-up stuff is the shit.

	The Tournament
Genre:	Action (2009)
Director:	Scott Mann
Starring:	Robert Carlyle, Kelly Hu, Ian Somerhalder
Rating:
Comment:	“Hey, let’s make a movie and not waste any money on developing a story” – et voila, you got The Tournament. Some of the fighting scenes were pretty innovative, but other than that it was retarded (as a side note: the priest dude should’ve been Nicolas Cage, he’s awesome at playing whiney bitches).

Angels & Demons
Genre:	Drama/Thriller/Mystery (2009)
Director:	Ron Howard
Starring:	Tom Hanks, Ewan McGregor, Ayelet Zurer
Rating:
Comment:	Fairly entertaining, decent twist at the end… but antimatter in a jar with a battery, stolen by a guy from a physics lab that apparently wasn’t really secured at all? Too many WTFs right at the beginning.

	Bangkok Dangerous
Genre:	Crime/Thriller/Action (2008)
Director:	Oxide Pang Chun & Danny Pang
Starring:	Nicolas Cage, Shahkrit Yamnarm, Charlie Yeung
Rating:
Comment:	Finally, a Nicolas Cage movie that wasn’t completely ruined by him crying like a goddamn baby every five minutes. Kinda fun to watch, but nothing to write home about.

Dragon Hunters
Genre:	Animated/Action/Fantasy (2008)
Director:	Guillaume Ivernel & Arthur Qwak
Starring:	Vincent London, Forest Whitaker, Patrick Timsit (all voices)
Rating:
Comment:	It’s a complete mystery to me why this movie didn’t get more attention from the media. It is funny, has fantastic visuals, and they didn’t unnecessarily cram a love story in there. Over all an excellent movie.

	Echelon Conspiracy
Genre:	Thriller/Action/Mystery (2009)
Director:	Greg Marcks
Starring:	Shane West, Edward Burns, Ving Rhames
Rating:
Comment:	Another all-powerful computer that gains consciousness and tries to take over. How imaginative. Puh-lease. Shane West looks (and acts) suspiciously like Neil Patrick Harris. Only not as cool.

Igor
Genre:	Comedy/Animated (2008)
Director:	Anthony Leondis
Starring:	John Cusack, John Cleese, Steve Buscemi (all voices)
Rating:
Comment:	Meh. It was kinda funny, and the voiceovers are really well made, but it still sucked. I didn’t even watch it to the end.

	Sunshine Cleaning
Genre:	Comedy/Drama (2008)
Director:	Christine Jeffs
Starring:	Amy Adams, Emily Blunt, Alan Arkin
Rating:
Comment:	I’m not really sure what I should be writing here. It’s a good movie but I don’t think it’s gonna leave a lasting impression on me. A safe pick if you can’t find anything better.

Super Troopers
Genre:	Comedy/Crime (2001)
Director:	Jay Chandrasekhar
Starring:	Jay Chandrasekhar, Erik Stolhanske, Brian Cox
Rating:
Comment:	Retarded, stupid, pointless… I love it :) Not the best comedy ever made, but it sure as hell makes for a great movie night with the guys.

	The Machinist
Genre:	Drama/Thriller/Mystery (2004)
Director:	Brad Anderson
Starring:	Christian Bale, Jennifer Jason Leigh, John Sharian
Rating:
Comment:	Fantastic movie that never fully reveals its hand until the very end and keeps you hooked even though you think you’ve figured it out. Highly recommended.

1408
Genre:	Thriller/Horror (2007)
Director:	Mikael HÃ¥fstrÃ¶m
Starring:	John Cusack, Samuel L. Jackson, Mary McCormack
Rating:
Comment:	Decent horror movie, despite it being based on a Stephen King novel. Why they casted Samuel L. Jackson is beyond me, he had a screen time of maybe five minutes total.

	Alien Trespass
Genre:	Comedy/Horror/Sci-Fi (2009)
Director:	R.W. Goodwin
Starring:	Eric McCormack, Jenni Baird, Robert Patrick, Jody Thompson
Rating:
Comment:	In case you’ve never seen any of those cheesy horror movies from the 1950s, here’s your chance. And you can watch it in HD, too. I liked it.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Genre:	Action/Fantasy (2009)
Director:	Gavin Hood
Starring:	Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber, Danny Huston
Rating:
Comment:	Entertaining and fun to watch, but not as good as the first three, imho. The mileage for female watchers may vary :)

Blindness
Genre:	Drama/Thriller/Mystery (2008)
Director:	Fernando Meirelles
Starring:	Mark Ruffalo, Julianne Moore, Danny Glover
Rating:
Comment:	Good movie, kinda creepy at times – it’s basically a zombie movie without zombies :-) But too long, 90 minutes would’ve been enough.

	Cellular
Genre:	Crime/Thriller/Action (2004)
Director:	David R. Ellis
Starring:	Chris Evans, Kim Basinger, Jason Statham
Rating:
Comment:	Holy Crap. This movie would be one of my personal favourite for the “most plot holes per hour” award if it had a plot to begin with. Staaaaaay away from it. Seriously.

Coraline
Genre:	Animated/Fantasy (2009)
Director:	Henry Selick
Starring:	Dakota Fanning, Teri Hatcher, Keith David (Voices)
Rating:
Comment:	First off: I’ve never seen A Nightmare Before Christmas. But this movie actually makes me wanna see it. Fantastic movie.

	JCVD
Genre:	Drama/Crime (2008)
Director:	Mabrouk El Mechri
Starring:	Jean-Claude Van Damme, FranÃ§ois Damiens, Zinedine Soualem
Rating:
Comment:	Jean-Claude van Damme? In a drama? Odd, but strangely good. Primarily because he’s playing himself and no matter how bad of an actor you are, it’s hard to screw that up. Actually a really decent movie, I enjoyed it. (P.S.: not a karate movie!)

Knowing
Genre:	Drama/Action/Mystery (2009)
Director:	Alex Proyas
Starring:	Nicolas Cage, Chandler Canterbury, Rose Byrne
Rating:
Comment:	To me, Nicholas Cage is one of the most overrated actors in Hollywood. Except if he has to do a lot of whining. He’s really good at that. Nonetheless, Knowing was pretty decent for the most part, but the ending was kinda lame.

	Out Of Time
Genre:	Drama/Crime/Thriller (2003)
Director:	Carl Franklin
Starring:	Denzel Washington, Eva Mendes, Sanaa Lathan
Rating:
Comment:	Excellent thriller with a twist. Or two. Or more, I’m not gonna spoil it for you :) Denzel for the girls, Mendes for the guys, what else do you want? Highly recommended.

Push
Genre:	Action/Sci-Fi (2009)
Director:	Paul McGuigan
Starring:	Chris Evans, Dakota Fanning, Camilla Belle
Rating:
Comment:	Push is basically the unofficial movie to the Heroes TV series. And it was much better than I expected. Very fun to watch, great popcorn movie.

	Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li
Genre:	Action/Sci-Fi (2009)
Director:	Andrzej Bartkowiak
Starring:	Kristin Kreuk, Neal McDonough, Chris Klein
Rating:
Comment:	I honestly don’t remember why I even wanted to see this. But to be fair, it wasn’t all that bad (for a Street Fighter movie, that is). Still a waste of time, though.

The Day The Earth Stood Still
Genre:	Drama/Thriller/Sci-Fi (2008)
Director:	Scott Derrickson
Starring:	Keanu Reeves, Jennifer Connelly, Jaden Smith
Rating:
Comment:	It turns out that watching The Day The Earth Stood Still when expecting War Of The Worlds and getting Keanu Reeves instead of Tom Cruise is very much like shooting yourself in the foot while aiming for your hand. Meh.

	Watchmen
Genre:	Action/Mystery (2009)
Director:	Zack Snyder
Starring:	Malin Akerman, Billy Crudup, Jackie Earle Haley, Matthew Goode
Rating:
Comment:	Fan-fucking-tastic. That’s all I’ve got to say about this. The trailer I found to be so-so, but the movie was a blast. A must-see.

What Just Happened
Genre:	Comedy/Drama (2008)
Director:	Barry Levinson
Starring:	Robert De Niro, Sean Penn, Catherine Keener, Bruce Willis
Rating:
Comment:	Bruce Willis with a full beard? That alone makes this movie worth watching. Apart from that… decent, but nothing to write home about.

Eagle Eye
Genre:	Crime/Thriller (2008)
Director:	D.J. Caruso
Starring:	Shia LaBeouf, Michelle Monaghan, Rosario Dawson
Rating:
Comment:	One of the most predictable and brain dead movies I’ve seen in a while. Every Pokemon episode makes more sense than this piece of bullcrap. The special effects are decent, so this might actually be enjoyable if you’re completely fucking wasted.

	Fletch
Genre:	Comedy/Crime (1985)
Director:	Michael Ritchie
Starring:	Chevy Chase, Dana Wheeler-Nicholson, M. Emmet Walsh
Rating:
Comment:	Old, but very solid entertainment. Nothing to write home about, but it makes for a mighty fine evening. Not much else to say, really.

Lesbian Vampire Killers
Genre:	Comedy/Action/Horror (2009)
Director:	Phil Claydon
Starring:	Paul McGann, James Corden, Mathew Horne
Rating:
Comment:	The title says it all. Vampires. Lesbian vampires. And it is actually kinda funny. Plus, you can’t really argue with teh boobz! (Then again, after seeing two Shia LeBeouf movies, watching a dog take a crap is starting to look pretty awesome.)

	Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Genre:	Action/Sci-Fi (2009)
Director:	Michael Bay
Starring:	Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, John Turturro
Rating:
Comment:	Loved the first one. I really did. But this… crap. Crap. CRAP. Story? Nope. Characters? Boring. Effects? Seen it all before. Don’t bother. Scratching your balls is a better use of your time.

Sky Captain And The Scam Of Tomorrow

I was gonna start this post with how completely blown away I was by Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow when I first saw it. The problem with that is that it couldn’t possibly be any further from the truth. It was one of those rare occasions where I was completely baked, I didn’t have the foggiest idea what the fuck was going on and about half way through it I asked my friend Iris who the hell that Jude Law fellow was and what he was doing in this movie.
Anyway, I watched it again a few days ago with my roomies and I noticed something funny. At about 15m57s they show a bunch of newspapers in different languages, one of which is German. Me being the inquisitive bastard that I am of course hit pause to read it.
It’s amazing how many errors they managed to squeeze in here. First of all there is a typo in the headline (Metallr), “stehlen” (to steal) appears twice for whatever reason and Metallmaschinen should be one word. Clearly, who bestowed such great care on the caption must have done an even more magnificent job with the small print! So I harnessed the power of full HD resolution and took a closer look at the rest:
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (closeup)
And I wasn’t to be disappointed: “Schlechte Desends Nach Landschaft” isn’t a sentence, Desends is not a real word, and even if it were it still wouldn’t make a whole lot of sense. And why does it say December 16th when the date in the movie is around March 17th? But the real kicker is the actual text. Schröder, Chirac and Blair – are you fucking kidding me? If you can’t be bothered to come up with some real text… fair enough. But have those people never heard of lorem ipsum?

You’d think that with an estimated budget of 70 million dollars they’d be willing to spend a measly 50 bucks on a German major at the local college to proof-read their shit. But to be fair, the scene lasted a grand total of maybe 2.5 seconds. Why spend any more money on it than absolutely necessary? Because it’s the insignificant details that make things great. It’s when you do something right that you weren’t really expected to get right that people notice it. But there’s always hope for the Extended Edition.

Geeky side note: The second image’s WordPress-id is 1337.

Apr 30

Monthly Movie Roundup

Posted in: movies

Yeah, I only watched one new movie this last month. Kinda sad. Or not, depending on how you look at it I suppose.

Mammoth
Genre:	Comedy/Action/Horror (2006)
Director:	Tim Cox
Starring:	Vincent Ventresca, Summer Glau, Tom Skerritt
Rating:
Comment:	Its low budget, its a ridiculous story, its everything you could possibly want for B-movie night. I actually enjoyed this. In much the same way I enjoy looking at car wrecks with mangled bodies. Talk about guilty pleasures.

Monthly Movie Roundup

Monthly Movie Roundup

Monthly Movie Roundup

Monthly Movie Roundup

Monthly Movie Roundup

Monthly Movie Roundup

Monthly Movie Roundup

Monthly Movie Roundup

Sky Captain And The Scam Of Tomorrow

Monthly Movie Roundup

Welcome

Archives

Recently played

Babylon A.D.
Genre:	Action/Sci-Fi (2008)
Director:	Mathieu Kassovitz
Starring:	Vin Diesel, MÃ©lanie Thierry, GÃ©rard Depardieu
Rating:
Comment:	Uuuuhhh… not sure here. It started our really cool and then it got weird. The ending leaves you with a distinct WTF just happened? It’s OVER?! They tried to cram too much story in the last 20 minutes. Story that didn’t have time to develop and wasn’t really needed to begin with. Close, but no cigar.

	Dance Of The Dead
	Genre:	Comedy/Horror (2008)
	Director:	Gregg Bishop
	Starring:	Jared Kusnitz, Greyson Chadwick, Chandler Darby
	Rating:
	Comment:	Best fucking “zombie” movie I’ve seen in a long time, this shit is funny! Also, zombie-sex is hawt! Budget? We don’t need to stinkin’ budget!

Defiance
Genre:	Drama/Thriller (2008)
Director:	Edward Zwick
Starring:	Daniel Craig, Liev Schreiber, Jamie Bell
Rating:
Comment:	At first I was a little worried that this would be an action movie that didn’t do history justice. But it wasn’t. Action-loaded, but very well made indeed. Recommended.

	My Bloody Valentine
	Genre:	Thriller/Horror (2009)
	Director:	Patrick Lussier
	Starring:	Jensen Ackles, Jaime King, Kerr Smith
	Rating:
	Comment:	I liked it. Nothing to write home about, but fun to watch. The ending was better than most of the other horror movies I watch (not that it’s that many), so bonus points for that.